Top Ten Things I HATE about Connecticut

In case you missed it, Bridgeport this past week announced, now that as I am attempting to leave this God Forsaken State, they would attempt to seize the assets of Connecticut Community Boating and kick the organization out of Bridgeport- OVER MY DEAD BODY- (Hope I don't have to live that one literally).

And so in honor of the corruption, politicization, general lack of vision and otherwise numerous ways Connecticut has fallen behind many of the other 49 States in this Nation, I thought I would contribute my Top Ten things I utterly detest about this State. Hope you agree and work with me to fix them.

10)  The Gold Coast- From Fairfield to Greenwich, the 20-some miles of coastline communities that make up the self-described Connecticut Gold Coast embody what all Politicians in this State kiss up to and most of the rest of this Country disdains. Whether its the Get-Out-of-My-Way, Suburban-Driving, Soccer Moms or the Eat the Flesh of Dead Puppies Corporate Climbers, the general attitude of those who lay claim to living on the Gold Coast BY AND LARGE are some of the worst examples of humanity ever born upon this earth. They don't care about who they hurt, or what they leave behind as long as they get first dibs and the remnants don't land in their back yard.  OK maybe I'm being a little harsh- I have met as many nice people as not nice people in my 37 years living in Fairfield County, but the fact that even Craig's List doesn't even recognize that that Fairfield County is part of CT and they think it is Part of NYC makes them the first on this list if not the one I hate the least.

9) The Traffic Management at Work Sites- Whether its I-95, I-84, I-91 or the Merit, if work is being done on the roads (and its always under construction or unimproved), there will be a line of traffic. But the wait in traffic is not the worst of it. Slamming on your breaks, going from 65 to stop in the space of three car lengths is no doubt the cause of fatal accidents and traffic snarls alike. Every night for the last week I have been driving up I-84 heading home and once you reach Vernon the traffic slams to a stop. No signs, no lights, no cops telling you lanes are closed and you should get right. No- traffic stops abruptly and slowly creeps forward for the next four miles. When you get to the end of the four miles, you see 25 feet of cones, 30 state trucks and a dozen cops issuing tickets to the guys who got pissed and tried to get around traffic in the breakdown lane. Maybe if they spread the cones out five or six miles before we were all supposed to get in one lane, we'd certainly slow down, but we wouldn't be killing our brakes and getting so irritated. Perhaps put the cops along the way to advise drivers to prepare to stop rather than fifteen feet before the end of the construction handing out tickets- but oh that's right we have to pay for all the bureaucrats in this State. So lets drive drivers crazy enough to get in the break down lane,. and nab them. That's a great way to "Let 'em Work, Let 'em Live".

8)And while were on the subject, what about TOLLS! More to the point the lack there of. If you drive into NY or MA, you have to pay a toll. If you drive through Newport, you have to pay a toll. If you drive through NJ, MD, DE, VA, PA, NH, ME and every other eastern State, you have to pay a toll. But when you drive through CT, you don't. And we keep paying higher gas prices and are constantly broke in this State. There is never enough money to do things like cut trees or maintain parks or fix broken sewage systems that are pumping raw sewage into Long Island Sound. But we are constantly repairing roads. Hmmmm? How about some math- If all your money goes to road repair, and there is no money to do the things that need doing- then maybe if you find an alternative revenue source other than Gas Taxes to pay for roads, you could use those tax revenues to pay to keep the feminine hygiene and prophylactic products off our beaches? I hate paying tolls as much as the next guy, but with the advent of EZ Pass, and Millions of Out of State Drivers coming through Connecticut yearly, what if we hit them for a few bucks to use our roads for a while, instead of them hitting us to go to their States. And rather than upping gas prices and sales taxes for Connecticut residents every five minutes, maybe we'll catch up on our bills for a change?

7) Blue Laws- We are the butt of the joke in so may ways, but this one has to be the one that tops the list of jokes to make about CT (Watch PCU, a movie all about how wonderful it was to be a college kid in Connecticut in the 90's). When I was a baby the liquor stores were getting robbed at 9PM, so the genius minds of Hartford said close them at 8- Brilliant! And I don't buy liquor on Sundays often now that its legal, but how is that any of the Government's business? If this State wants to dictate morals, how about putting a few of the pedophiles, mobsters and con men who have dragged us through the dirt for the last 20 years in Sunday school and giving them a conscience? In other States you can buy beer through a drive through at 3AM on a Sunday and some how they haven't slipped into Hell. If CT has it so right then why is it that Alcoholism historically is higher in New England? How about this- send a few of the State liquor people to Vegas for a few days to learn about why people are moving there and leaving here. Have them bring what they learn back to CT, so if we have to live in this backwards State we can at least have buzz while we're stuck here.

6) Property Taxes- No I think we need them for sure, but do we need them to fund 90% of what we do in this State? Perhaps if we diversified our revenue structure, didn't scare so many people out of this State and cut a few boondoogle projects from the Budget like the ever-cash-sucking Amistad, we could hold the line on property taxes long enough to convince some of the brilliant students who learn here, to stay here and start families. When will our leaders wake up to the notion that business and people are flocking South because of low property taxes and sunny weather? The weather will always be the same here in CT, but the property tax could be lowered. The smartest thing I ever heard Mayor Finch say was when he held up a dollar bill and he said "This is Connecticut." We have less property than most states with this highest income levels in the Nation. So we base our tax system on property instead of income and expect to pay our bills.  That made a hell of lot of sense to me. If only he kept those ideas coming and followed through with them.

5) Gambling- What we fail to make in revenues with Taxes in this State, we make up for with gambling. Between the Lotto, the Casinos, the OTBs and Bingo, we are a State of Senior Citizen, Kenny Roger's singing, gamblers. We fund our education system on the Social Security Checks of the most vulnerable in our community. Have you ever stood in line at the 7/11 on government check day? The line of over 65's who burn through at least a Benjamin on scratch off tickets is disgusting. And the line of walkers at Foxwoods rivals the Dialysis Line at the VA.  And we justify it saying, your buying computers for our kids. Really that makes it ok? If we are so set on dictating morality for liquor, how can we hold up gambling as the panacea to our funding woes in this State? But maybe the writing is on the wall that we will soon have to find a new way to teach kids to read in our State. Our kids are failing education on a huge scale and Massachusetts in putting in a Casino. Maybe we should start handing out heroine to fourth graders cause they'll be the only ones left to pay the bills when the Gamblers in this State "know when to walk away and know when to run."

4)The Attitudes at DMV, DRS and DSS. I came in from work the other night and my Mom was crying hysterically. Apparently Rich or Rick at the Department of Revenue Services tore her a new rectum when she called and asked how much she owed in taxes from income they just discovered from 2009. "IT's YOUR JOB TO FIGURE THAT, ARE YOUR TAXES MY PROBLEM?" Well no Rick, it's not,  but beating up seniors with tax questions isn't your job either but you seem to do that pretty well so we thought we'd ask. Do you ever wonder why, after you stand in line at the DMV for three hours, the teller acts as if they are doing you a favor? And yes I have had to go to the Department of Social Services before and the treatment is not very different.  What is it about a civil servant where they hate their well paying, secure, health insurance providing jobs and feel they can take their bad day out on you? But maybe its not that they always have bad days, maybe they just never have good ones and think if they are decent human beings to you, they'll have to be decent to everyone. Imagine the horror in that?

3) Corrupticut I used to work as an intern for Gov John Rowland and I thought he was a pretty good guy. But his fall from grace broke my heart. And that was just the start of it. Bridgeport, Waterbury and Hartford have all sent Mayors to jail. In the last month we've heard stories about Cars being misused by Government workers, Governor's getting favors on cutting their lawn, and driveways being built by and for the same person on the public dime. Does it ever stop? Is it really so hard to be honest that you can't turn without bumping into a corruption case in this State? Or is it maybe that we just don't expect more of our elected and public officials that when they do something that belies the public trust, we say "Welcome to Corrupticut!"? What if we passed a law in this State that any public official convicted of wrong doing was publicly paraded through Hartford and their home town with signs on their chest saying "I Screwed the Public" Maybe then we could expect higher standards of our public officials and wouldn't be so laid back about dishonesty in the public realm.

2) The DEEP Did you realize that when Gov Malloy merged the DEP and the Energy Dept, he may have saved some bucks, but created a monster? There are very few aspects of our lives that are not now under the same regulatory agency and boy has that authority gone to their head. If you buy gas- there's the DEEP. Want to go fishing? There's the DEEP. Want to put an addition on your house? There's the DEEP. Want to drive a boat? There's the DEEP. And the DEEP claims jurisdiction from the shores of Long Island to the Mass, NY and RI Borders, all the way down to the earth's core to the edge of Earth's atmosphere. All of it. There one tiny little column of regulation that stretches to the upper troposphere and bisects the earth. But what gets me is while they are all knowing and all encompassing, they seem to miss obvious things to regulate- like the Coal belching power plant in Bridgeport Harbor or the Raw Sewage Spewing Sewer System in Black Rock. They have also failed to enforce fines on dozens of violators up the Housatonic River and seem to turn a blind eye to the dumping of winter road debris in Long Island Sound every spring. Yes this is number two on my list because as I live and breath I HATE what the DEEP has become and how it abuses it's authority.

1) And the Number One Thing I hate about Connecticut is- 







LONG ISLAND SOUND!

Yes I hate Long Island Sound. From its beautiful fall winds to its brisk east and west currents, I hate Long Island Sound. Which is to say I hate how much I love Long Island Sound. It would be so much easier if I could turn a cold heart to the poisoning of our waters with medications and birth control. It would be so much easier if I could just say who cares that at times it is devoid of life and riddled with municipal run off. It would be so much better if I never tried to open her shores to "Everyone Regardless of Income Residency or Social Standing". And so old girl, I have to admit I hate how much I love you and what a difference you have made on my life. I hate that I can't quit you and move to a place where the water runs clear and the shores welcome all who dare drink in her loveliness. I hate that even after I leave you, my clothes smell of salt and my skins stings with the reflection of the sun upon your surface. But most of all I hate that I can't quit, I won't quit. That every time I get out, you pull me back in. I hate you Long Island Sound, I really Hate you.