I'm Lucky I guess. Lucky that I got to know them. Lucky I got a chance to be part of their lives. And lucky because I was the one who got to see them take their final breath- each in their own due time.
My parents are dead now. And I stand on the edge of eternity with a woman I love so dearly, that I can't image a breath, let alone a life, apart from her. The mere idea of saying good bye to her on the eve of our wedding night has me petrified in fear that I may never see her beautiful smile again. But it is with faith alone that I will say good night to her on December 15th, put my fate in the hands of my brothers and sisters in debauchery and hope that I might see her again when next the sun sets.
But tonight I write knowing that two young souls said their "I do's" on this night some 47 years ago.
You see tonight is the night my parents were wed, and it is this night my parents will atone for the breaking of that pledge to God they made so many years ago. They divorced when I was a young boy, but the pain they caused each other before that divorce was so much more painful than the divorce itself. So in a way breaking their pledge to God was merciful for my sister and me, but they said Good Bye to marriage, without ever saying Good Bye to each other. And I know the love they shared lasted til their very last breath. I know cause I was there.
I can hope that my luck holds out. Luck that I now make the pledge to love until I die one woman, now and forever, when my parents made that same pledge 47 years ago and could not keep it by law even if they did keep it by practice.
My parents were best friends even after the cops stopped showing up and the house payments were made on time. They were best friends despite the fact that my dad started every Sunday with a glass of wine and ended every Friday with his last double vodka of the week. And they were best friends when I was a "peckerhead" as my father liked to call me, never taking my side and always standing by their pledge to honor, even they could not cherish each other in the covenant of marriage.
Now I stand with a woman, who knows me and is my best friend in the same way, my Dad and my Mom were best friends. They knew each other. He knew she was overbearing and manipulative. She knew he was cold and suffered the alcoholic melancholy. He'd say in one breath, "Find your InDEEEpendence, Chris" and then say "Your Mother is right" in the next. When he died I felt the ying had died to my yang when only there was my Mother to answer to. He would never have my back again and that was just as well because he was never to be counted on when I needed him to take my side against her. But just the same, I missed their team work in tipping the scales in favor of my parents.
She died last year, this month. Tonight is the first night she will stand on their anniversary with him in heaven together. And I can only hope they are looking down disapproving of my ways as they always did in life. But I do hope they can look down and see I love this woman wholey with all my being and will never put my welfare or life before hers as my parents did to each other. I had hoped that they would love each other again in life, but carry the knowledge that in their last breaths, they loved each other and held up their vows to God til death parted them. And I can hope that my love for this woman is as strong as the love my parents had for each other even if they could not keep within their pledge to God that they made so many years ago tonight.
I am a child of divorce and by definition that does not bode well for marriage. My parents beat the love from each other only to find it as friends when they grew old and died. I have the belief that the love I feel for this woman will carry us through even if we may fall out of love at some point, only to find each other again as friends. Because I saw the love two friends who used to be lovers carried for each other in their lives and now in their deaths. And I know on this night that my parents loved each other and hold each other, close before God, looking down on my wife to be and I as we make our pledge to love, honor and cherish each other til death do us part. And I hope they may bless us and watch over our lives together even if they could not manage a life together themselves.
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| My Parents: Cake Cutting on Nov 7, 1970 |
But tonight I write knowing that two young souls said their "I do's" on this night some 47 years ago.
You see tonight is the night my parents were wed, and it is this night my parents will atone for the breaking of that pledge to God they made so many years ago. They divorced when I was a young boy, but the pain they caused each other before that divorce was so much more painful than the divorce itself. So in a way breaking their pledge to God was merciful for my sister and me, but they said Good Bye to marriage, without ever saying Good Bye to each other. And I know the love they shared lasted til their very last breath. I know cause I was there.
I can hope that my luck holds out. Luck that I now make the pledge to love until I die one woman, now and forever, when my parents made that same pledge 47 years ago and could not keep it by law even if they did keep it by practice.
My parents were best friends even after the cops stopped showing up and the house payments were made on time. They were best friends despite the fact that my dad started every Sunday with a glass of wine and ended every Friday with his last double vodka of the week. And they were best friends when I was a "peckerhead" as my father liked to call me, never taking my side and always standing by their pledge to honor, even they could not cherish each other in the covenant of marriage.
Now I stand with a woman, who knows me and is my best friend in the same way, my Dad and my Mom were best friends. They knew each other. He knew she was overbearing and manipulative. She knew he was cold and suffered the alcoholic melancholy. He'd say in one breath, "Find your InDEEEpendence, Chris" and then say "Your Mother is right" in the next. When he died I felt the ying had died to my yang when only there was my Mother to answer to. He would never have my back again and that was just as well because he was never to be counted on when I needed him to take my side against her. But just the same, I missed their team work in tipping the scales in favor of my parents.
She died last year, this month. Tonight is the first night she will stand on their anniversary with him in heaven together. And I can only hope they are looking down disapproving of my ways as they always did in life. But I do hope they can look down and see I love this woman wholey with all my being and will never put my welfare or life before hers as my parents did to each other. I had hoped that they would love each other again in life, but carry the knowledge that in their last breaths, they loved each other and held up their vows to God til death parted them. And I can hope that my love for this woman is as strong as the love my parents had for each other even if they could not keep within their pledge to God that they made so many years ago tonight.
I am a child of divorce and by definition that does not bode well for marriage. My parents beat the love from each other only to find it as friends when they grew old and died. I have the belief that the love I feel for this woman will carry us through even if we may fall out of love at some point, only to find each other again as friends. Because I saw the love two friends who used to be lovers carried for each other in their lives and now in their deaths. And I know on this night that my parents loved each other and hold each other, close before God, looking down on my wife to be and I as we make our pledge to love, honor and cherish each other til death do us part. And I hope they may bless us and watch over our lives together even if they could not manage a life together themselves.
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